Archive for June, 2011

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HOW’RE YOU GUYS? IT’S BEEN A WHILE!

June 5, 2011

I’ve gotten to a point in my life where a lotta people I grew up with are giving up their lives.
By giving up their lives i mean getting married.(no I’m not bitter….)
Somehow, that has become MY personal nightmare.
Now you know how it is….
…once you hit a certain age….
….once people your age group tie the proverbial knot, settle and start producing,
You’re automatically expected to do same.
Now my dilemma reached a crescendo in April this year.
My favourite cousin got married…..to the most wonderful man even I have ever met.
One of a kind.
Last of a dying breed in fact.
She decided to be the first one in our age group(amongst the cousins) to get married and now every time family gets together all i hear is…..
….”when should we expect the invitation?”
To what?
I mean seriously is that how we just get up and send invitations???
If it’s an invitation you want i can send you one m’ome.
Doesn’t necessarily have to be to any event….
….just a blank invitation card will do anaa?
It’s ridiculous how much these old folk impose the marriage thing on you.
I can’t even bring a guy home without it bearing some hidden meaning.
I mean imagine…..
…..if I was a guy and came to visit me and was exposed to “these conditions”, I just might run the other way (I’m just saying)
The same rate at which people are getting married, they are getting separated.
Fall in love, after six months decide you want to be together forever.
Let me remind you that forever is a fucking long time…..
…and if a year into your forever you decide…
“I don’t like the way my husband/wife chews her food” (yes petty things like this irritate me),
“I can’t sleep at night cuz he sounds like the whole London Underground”
Or worse……
….”Fuck me! This bitch can’t cook for shit”
Then what?????
Split up….
…..find another 6month lover and start again?
I’ll pass on this one thanks.
You see,
In my mind I have an ideal situation planned.
It may not pan out exactly as I want it to but certain scenarios are definitely out of the question.
No, i’m not gonna marry you and move to your parent’s house.
To the room that you’ve been sleeping in since you were six.
I’m not moving out of the room I’VE been sleeping in since I was six to move into yours.
See where I’m going?
God forbid if we have a child on the way.
My child will turn six in the room you’ve been sleeping in since you were six.
Marriage isn’t a joke at all.
Especially in this era and I wish our parents understood that.
Our generation will not suck it up and deal with it if it’s not going well.
We’re changing partners like our weaves….or shoes….or underwear or something, I dunno, I’m talking from a female’s POV (yes….I said it Amet! Bite me!)
If I decide to listen to these old people and find someone to settle with just because…
…….booooooy i’m pretty sure I’m gonna be one unhappy princess….
….and the guy will probably be too.
Just as I think it’ll be hard to live with someone…..
…..in the same room…
….in the same bed for the rest of my life….
…I’m pretty darned sure I will NOT be an easy person to live too.
I have flaws. (Oh! Did I just burst your bubble? Ok I lied. I’m hella perfect)
It’s not something I’m gonna do just because it’s “time”
Or because, as someone so poetically said to me……..
“your biological clock is ticking and your ovaries are drying up”
When it’s time I’ll know.
And it will happen…..
With all the pomp and pageantry .
So with this out of the way….
…How’re you guys? It’s been a while!