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It’s Easier To Own A Dog!!

May 13, 2012

So its Mother’s Day today!!!!

First of all….

Happy Mother’s Day to the real mothers out there.

You’re doing an incredible job! (Pats back)

Ooooookaaaaaay!

To the topic at hand today….

…..and it just so happens that I decide to write about this on Mother’s Day BUT it HAS been eating me up for a while.

Like I said, Happy Mother’s Day to the REAL mothers out there.

I say REAL because I DO NOT believe that every woman who has a child is actually a mother.

It takes more than just bringing the child out of your vagina to BE  a mother.

I believe that what you DO to ensure that your child grows up in the best way possible is what being a mother is all about.

That the love and care you give your child is what gives you the title…..

….This is why I can adopt a child and STILL be a mother!

You dig??

Its 2012.

This century has churned a lot of career moms, 21st century moms with radical parenting skills and my personal favourites…..

….women who feel like they need to have children because it is what is expected of them…..

…..or to prove some point to society.

I don’t believe it is mandatory to have a child especially if you have zero interest in their general existence.

I know plenty mothers who are like this.

Their idea of being a mother is buying clothes for their children who are all under 10…

….and taking them to the best restaurants.

No fun trips to the beach…..

…no trips to ice cream parlours…..

…..no sleepovers and general childish fun!

Remind me again WHEN children became interested in these types of things!

A trip to an expensive restaurant for a 3year old and its labelled “FUN”!

Don’t they like toys anymore??’

Trust me….

….I have nothing against career moms.

I think it wonderful if she can juggle that career and being a mother (and wife and lover) at the same time.

But  when your nanny is literally giving your child (and your husband perhaps) breastmilk….

….THAT is where my problem begins.

These are the mothers who spend all their time at work even if they don’t have to be there…

..and come home when the child is sleeping. Its almost as though she is afraid of the child!

In the morning, a driver takes him to school.

On weekends….

….she’s out with friends OR is at work….again!

She doesnt even cook! (these ones just KILL me!!)

When her child is sick, she dismisses it saying “that’s how children are”

Which children?

My mother was a crazy busy woman when I was growing up but she FOUND the time to spend with us.

On weekends, we would bake with her….

….or cook our own meals under her supervision.

She found time to come for parents day at school…..

….she braided our hair every week(my sister and I)

….. AND……

….. she dropped AND picked us up from school!

She found the time.

But in 2012….

….. a lot of these mothers are leaving the help to raise their children.

Why have these kids in the first place???

What is the point?

And it’s sad because these kids are growing up to become BRATS!!

Not only that, a lot of them are growing up learning ALL the wrong things.

What is my nanny who grew up in some Nzema village going to teach my child?

I know some kids whose mother spends so little time with them…

….when she attempts to, they are in a hurry to get away from her and spend that time with the person who actually cares for them on a daily basis.

I would be so hurt if my kids did this!

I mean i broke my vagina for you!!!!!

Why can’t you spend time with me?

I know mothers who put weaves on their daughters.

These daughters are below 10.

I have seen this personally I tell you no lie!

What is a 7 year old doing with a weave??

I know mothers who leave their kids with the nanny and travel for months.

As a matter of fact I knew of a mother who left her 10month old baby with the nanny and went to have another baby in the States.

And I’m not talking one month!

This mother was gone for almost 4 months.

Her husband was crazy busy…..

….so the child was being taken care of by the nanny at home and the watchman.

Nanny speaks Twi and watchman speaks pidgin English.

Imagine the turmoil this child went through when he was learning to talk!

Imagine the child’s speech!

And these terrible mothers don’t stop at having one child oh!

They have one…then two…then three….

And they put up such an act around other mothers when they are out with their kids.

Acting like they are best friends with their kids

Come and give mummy a kiss”….

…..then you see the child cringing and in his mind he thinks….

…”aaah mummy paaa when did we start kissing each other??

There are people who genuinely WANT kids and can’t have them

The world is unfair!

I say a mother who doesn’t know her child’s favourite colour…

…favourite food…

…things that frighten the child…

….things they hate….

…their hobbies or favourite subject in school DOES not deserve the right to call herself a mother.

As I always say…

it’s easier to own a dog!

How about you quit having the babies and find a mongrel to try caring for….

And if you DO succeed…..

…..have that baby!

Until then….

….leave the baby making for those who are actually interested!

 

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5 comments

  1. This post deserves to be read and reread. A child is a gift and a blessing not a trophy to be cast aside or always polished and brought out on display. A child needs love, attention, training and guidance from both parents. Dont marry or give birth or impregnate someone if you are not ready for the “responsibilities” that come with it. A life is not to be toyed especially your own blood.


  2. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere have you been? It’s been almost a year! Welcome backkkk! Never leave! Pleeaaase


  3. My favorite part: …”aaah mummy paaa when did we start kissing each other?? Had me in stitches.You put forth the ideas excellently. Some really do not deserve to be parents.


  4. Nyc post though I think the nzema village nanny part is a bit distasteful. Sounds like stereotyping to me. Just my honest opinion



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